Why Ed should've been incorporated into the MVP movie series

"Minor League. Major Friendship."

This is how the 1996 Matt LeBlanc cinematic vehicle Ed about a baseball playing monkey was marketed. One would think the sheer star power LeBlanc yielded at that time combined with such an endearing tagline and a monkey would've equaled box office success the likes of which Bedtime For Bonzo only dreamed of. Well, at least I'm guessing that's what the studio executives who green lit the movie were thinking.

The real reason, I think, why Ed bombed wasn't because it was terrible (which I'm only assuming it was, I couldn't find a copy of this even at Blockbuster), as plenty of movies make good money despite being awful. Movies featuring animals generally sell tickets simply based on parents (wrongly) assuming that their children will eat that shit up. While not certified box office smashes, I'm pretty sure that Dr. Dolittle, Dunston Checks In, and Mighty Joe Young demonstrate that hokiness alone makes up for what would otherwise be considered a lousy movie.

The problem with Ed was (again, I'm largely basing my knowledge on my vague memory of the trailer) that it took itself a little too seriously. Perhaps because they had Matt LeBlanc starring they thought they could try to make an actual comedy, rather than a "comedy" directed at families. Here's the thing, Matt LeBlanc isn't funny, he just plays dumb exceptionally well, and that ability fit perfectly into the Friends dynamic (assuming you found that show funny).

As the relatively short life of LeBlanc's spin-off Joey attests to, he can't carry something on his own. I will give the producers of Ed that they did hire a monkey to co-star, because it's only natural to assume that a primate can pick-up any comedic slack left by a human. However, Matt LeBlanc is no Clint Eastwood, and Ed was no Every Which Way But Loose.

Now maybe Ed would've tanked no matter when it was released, but I'm inclined to argue that it would've succeeded had it been incorporated into the MVP: Most Valuable Primate film series.

First off, it's obvious that none of the writers of the original MVP thought they were funny. Clearly they just said "Hey I'm writing a movie about a monkey that plays hockey, thank god for slapstick humour and monkey grins," because that's more or less the entire movie. There is the requisite sentimentality of any family movie, but I'm sure, if I were to watch Ed, I would discover that Matt LeBlanc really cared about his monkey, too. You can only watch LeBlanc pretending to be Joey pretending to be a minor league baseball player for so long before the cringing at unfunny moments becomes unbearable. Someone falling down is far more effective.

Second, the idea of a monkey playing even minor league baseball is pretty dubious, so any credibility Ed was hoping to gain from major league ball players pretty much went right out the window. But if the story was based in the MVP universe, viewers would accept that monkeys can in fact play any sport, including baseball. It would also allow the movie to avoid having any scene where the umpires argue about whether or not the monkey is allowed to play, clearly it would've been established in the history of this MVP world that it's permissible.

If Ed had been the fourth entry in the MVP series, not only would the monkey's story been given it's long overdue epilogue, but the use of MVP as a title would've been appropriate again. MVP 2: Most Vertical Primate strayed from its source material, making skateboarding the focus of the monkey's talents. Unfortunately, there are no MVPs in skateboarding, so the movie leaves one sorely longing for any sense of realism. The third entry, MXP: Most Extreme Primate not only continued the trend of using a boardsport to gain extra attention from kids, it dropped the MVP name all together. Releasing Ed as MVP 4: Apey Got Bat would've brought the series to its natural conclusion.

Finally, having Matt LeBlanc as the star would've actually given a reason to get excited about the MVP series again. Whereas Ed wound up showing how little pull a major TV star has for a film, it as MVP 4 would've had people at least wanting to watch it with a perverse curiosity. Will Matt LeBlanc just act like Joey? Will the monkey be named Chandler? Will David Schwimmer have a cameo? These are questions that most people would like to have answers to before they die.

But with Ed having already being released and forgotten, it's possible legacy as an ironic favourite is forever lost. One can only hope that it will eventually be remade, along with all of the MVP films, as a cohesive four-part saga.