The Sisterhood of the ... Pants

So the movie The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants came out a little while ago. You may or may not have seen it. I have. And I have some problems with the story and the title.

The whole movie is based on the premise that one pair of jeans perfectly fits each member of a group of 4 girl friends. So if you can get past this disrespectful jab at the laws of mass and space, that's fine. But the girls in the story assume these pants are magic. Sorry, but did you ever stop and think that maybe these jeans are actually just stretchy and stretch to fit each person? Yeah, um that's not magic.

In the upcoming summer, each girl is doing their own thing and they will be seperated for 2 whole months. Tragic. So they buy the pants and decide they will share them over the summer by mailing them to one another. Hence the so called "traveling" pants.

Herein lies the problem, I think the movie shows that these pants are anything but magic, and the fact they "travel" is pretty irrelevant, and really not that important to the story. (They are really just mailed, so maybe they could be "5 day priority mail" pants or something)

All the girls believe the pants to be magic, which not only have I already proved to be a false assumption, but it is proven throughout the movie that the pants are evil. Yes, they bring no good.

Allow me to explain.

First Lena, the shy but secretly attractive one, takes the jeans with her to Greece. She is living with her Grandma for the summer just to visit and to "get away". Lena wears the pants when she takes a trip to a local dock to do some sketching. While she is there she spots a cute boy who distracts her, she tries to get up and move away but trips and falls into the water. She sinks to the bottom (deep enough for her head to be under) and her jeans catch on a hook and she almost drowns. I repeat: she almost drowns. She could've died because of those fucking pants. Oh sure the cute boy happens to save her, but what if he was a bad swimmer? What if he hadn't seen her fall? She would've died and those pants would've been held responsible.

Lena realizes the killer instict of the pants and sends them off to Bridget, the sexy and confident but secretly crying inside over the death of her mother one, who is at a soccer camp in Mexico. (P.S. since when did they hold American soccer camps in Mexico?) On her first day in Mexico, Bridget spots a very attractive guy who also happens to be one of the coaches at the camp. Relations between coach and players are STRICTLY forbidden. Bridget tries a few times to seduce the coach but he won't have it. But then Bridget puts on the jeans, and figures they will lure the boy to come and deflower her. It works, he follows her to a beach and they have sex. But right after, Bridget is torn apart emotionally. This leads me to believe that she was raped. Sure it might've been somewhat consensual, but Bridget feels violated and is afraid of boys.

So now the pants have almost killed one girl, and allowed another to be essentially raped. Magic indeed.

Next the pants make their way to the saucy Carmen, the Latino friend who's "got an ass" as she puts it (she is a bit chubby), who is spending the summer with her Dad in suburbia. Her parents split at a young age and she rarely sees her father, so Carmen is very excited to spend time with him. But when she arrives, she discovers that her Dad is engaged to be married to the ultra-blond suburban soccer Mom who has 2 children of her own. Carmen is very distraught (did anyone else think this made her seem racist?). She tries to bond with her Dad but he is very busy and she has to spend more time with his fiance and her kids. Finally the pants arrive and Carmen is excited because she still believes in the magic. But once Carmen puts on the pants, it leads to her having a blowout fight with her soon to be stepmom and then running away. She expects her Dad to come looking for her as she stays out for several hours but when she returns to his house she looks into the dining room and discovers he's enjoying dinner with his new family. He does not seem the least bit concerned Carmen's not there. Carmen is devestated. She throws a rock and breaks the dining room window, and then takes a bus back home. Now the pants have also destroyed Carmen's relationship with her father. And directly contributed to a broken window (pricey). Again, I fail to see the magic.

Finally the pants get to Tibby, the cynical aspiring filmmaker one, who is staying in the 4 girls' hometown working for the summer. She is working at a department store and making a documentary about the people who work there and how boring their lives are. Once Tibby wears the pants, she meets a young girl named Bailey who is very interested in helping Tibby make the documentary. The problem is Bailey has cancer. THAT SHIT IS CONTAGIOUS.

So let's run it down: the pants almost kill Lena, lead to Bridget being sexually violated, destroy the emotional fabric of Carmen's relationship with her Dad, and then quite possibly get Tibby infected with the cancer.

These pants are not travelling, these pants are not magic, these pants are an unstoppable killing machine.